Bikes, phones, vampires, Danish bureaucracy, and an intro to Danish pronunciations…

Vampires, wha…? (It’s there, promise!) Read on with patience and care…

In our first 3 weeks we bought 6 bikes. They are all 2nd hand – bought either from DBA.dk ( Danish version of craigslist), or in local bike shops. This may be considered excessive by some (a colleague of MBH’s comment was “you might have a bike problem,”) going carless for the year means we all need [pedal-able] wheels.

A few bike photos before tales of SIM cards, CPR numbers, Visas, NemIDs, and Rejsekorts.

B.B.B.

Bikes.Before. Bureaucracy

Others may say “but what about public transportation?” (or, with more snark “sure, biking’s great now, but what about in December?) Public transportation in Copenhagen/Denmark is excellent. It is also very expensive, especially if you don’t have a Rejsekort. (~$4 per trip on the bus – cash only (Exact change not necessary! This does make it easier) $8 or more for the S-tog each trip, debit card only). Unless the ticket machines and the 7-eleven ticket-sale system at the station aren’t working. Then you just gotta get on and hope you don’t get caught without a ticket. Which the girls and I did have to do one day. We did not get caught. Whew. And truthfully? I was so caught up in “the Danish Way” and being honest and wanting to follow all the rules (possibly birth order came into play too. I’m the oldest of 3 girls, and according to one of my sisters, my whole life growing up I had a “halo” and could do no wrong (until I came back from Africa in 2003 – drinking, smoking, and omg, changed political parties(!!!)).

Anyhow, for whatever reason, I seriously considered buying our train tickets once we got back to Copenhagen (post trip!). For about 30 seconds. Then I wisened up, thought “that’s pretty nuts and probably no Dane has ever done that, ever.” So quickly I talked myself out of following through on that GI (Good Idea).

So, back to the Rejsekort. Rejsekort pronunciation: French “R” (the fun French gutteral R sound) then “eye” “se” “kort” (soft guttural R again and soft-sounding T)

To get a Rejsekort, you need a NEM ID. And to get NemID, you need a CPR number.

And getting that CPR number required, well, I’ll just say it was the Danish Government’s version of Pan’s Labyrinth. We (read that, MBH) started looking into this back in April ? May? Can’t quite remember. It was also expensive. And time consuming. It required an overnight trip to NYC for a biometrics appointment with a company that contracts with the Danish Government. And things were going pretty smoothly (only slightly stressful).

But then things got very very very stressful.

You simply cannot have an overseas move without something super duper stressful happening. And for us it was learning that we’d screwed up getting the girls’ their biometrics data. We had misunderstood the online information about the requirements and thought they didn’t need to submit biometrics for their CPR numbers. Wrong. Big Oops.

As a result of our misunderstanding, about two weeks before our DOD (Date of Departure), we learned we were facing $15k in fines, if the girls did not have their CPR numbers by Sept 4th, *insert numerous freaked out emojis here.* Something about the girls and their school and Danish subsidies and having to have their CPR numbers…

We actually considered delaying our move (the cost of forfeiting our plane tickets, and buying new ones was less than $15K), but ultimately decided to just do our best to get the girls CPR numbers before the Sept 4th deadline.

We realized our budget would take a HELL of a hit if we had to pay that $15K, but so much was already in motion we just had to go for it. Movers were booked, our Rochester house was already rented, tenants were moving in, we had a lease signed for an apartment in Copenhagen, starting August 8th, and our Copenhagen Airbnb was booked (and paid for) for August 1 to August 8th.

Friends also encouraged us to just go. They said that although the bureaucracy is intense, the Danes are so efficient it would surely work out. (Thank you friends! You know who you are. You were totally right!)

For all the Danish bureaucracy, once we made the appointments, begged and pleaded with anyone who would listen, prayed, begged and pleaded some more, sweated, spent more than a few sleepless nights tossing and turning with CPR number nightmares, the girls got their CPR numbers a couple of weeks before the deadline. WHEW.

MBH gets all the credit for making this happen.

One casualty of the Danish Bureaucracy is my National ID card photo (separate from the CPR card, the NemID card, and the Rejsekort card).

I look like a vampire. But not a beautiful one, like Bella.

Scary, I know. Yeesh. This might just be how all the freshman, in the dorm where I was a Resident Advisor (at Virginia Tech, years and years ago) viewed me. No Nonsense. Do Not Mess With Me. Or Break Any Rules. Or Wake Me Up at 3am Because You Don’t Have Your Damn Room Key. I did hear a story (via another RA) that one freshman chose (very wisely) to sleep in the hall bathtub one night instead of waking me (the RA on duty) up (at 3am) to let him into his room. My being an actual vampire would have certainly helped the not-quite-sober boy as vampires don’t sleep…Alas, I was not, and he made TRD (The Right Decision).

THANKFULLY, I got to choose my own photo for my Rejsekort card. Yay! And I was NOT going to let an opportunity for an excellent photo on a transportation card exactly zero people will ever see, pass me by.

How I prepped for my Rejsekort selfie:

• ATTIRE: Put on one of my favorite shirts – that I bought second hand (Clothes Mentor in Henrietta, NY) several years ago. It is quickly approaching unwearable-in-public threadbare status but totally usable for this picture (and any outfit where I wear a sweater or jacket over it). It also has one little hole on a seam behind my shoulder. As soon as I find a sewing kit (proving difficult in Copenhagen) I’m going to pay the youngest to sew it for me as I’m still not a sew-er.
• JEWELRY: One of my favorite necklaces that MBH gave me years ago. One of those occasions where I had stated very clearly and emphatically that I did NOT want a gift (therefore getting myself off the hook for having to get him one). But, being the wonderful and thoughtful husband he is, he went and picked out the necklace below, and I’ve loved it ever since. Was I as thoughtful? That is a rhetorical question…
  HAIR: I also brushed my hair – typically a bi-monthly occasion. Getting my hair cut is a bicentennial event. Especially now that we’re in the Expensive-Haircut Capital of the World. 380dkk ($56!!!!!) for an 8 minute man’s buzz cut (!!!!).
• PHOTO EDITING: cropped out the split ends.
• MAKEUP: I put on lipstick. I really love this particular lipstick and like so many seemingly innocuous things in our lives, there is a story behind it. It’s Mary Kay Figue Somptueuse “Rich Fig” and once belonged to Becky Sullivan, my brother in law’s mother. Becky died suddenly and unexpectedly almost a year ago – October 8th, 2018. She was from Chattanooga, TN and we’ve lived at least a day’s drive from family for 15 years, so we would see her about once a year or once every other year. In between the times I was fortunate enough to see her in person, I usually knew what she was up to from my sister and brother in law. And in spite of the distance, what I do remember very clearly was her deep love for all friends and family, her sense of humor, her warmth, her sass, her incredibly bright joie de vivre. You can read more about Becky here. The week she died, I flew to Chattanooga to be with my sister and brother in law and to help out with whatever needed to be done. One of the tasks was to sort through Becky’s things and as we were doing so, someone found a box of unopened Mary Kay merchandise, including this lipstick. Becky was always very well put together – hair, make up, clothes – another thing I really admired about her. Taking care with my appearance has never been my own strong suit, but at that moment I was inspired to start. So after checking to make sure no one else wanted the makeup, I took a few pieces from the box. And while I’m still not one to put on makeup very often, this is now my lipstick color. I think of Becky often, and I especially think of her every time I apply Figue Sompteuse. Becky, you are loved and missed.

Phones

We got our EU SIM cards day 2 of our arrival. It took less than 10 minutes and cost 100dkk ($14.82) each. They also came with Danish phone numbers and, ready for this? EIGHTY GIGS OF DATA FOR THE MONTH. Yes, you read that right, 80 GB of data. For less than $15. Our 2-phone family plan in the USA, with ONE GB of data each month cost way way WAAAAY more than the $60 it cost for 4 phones with 80 GB of data each. We re-upped at the beginning of September, and turns out, the minimum plan is 100 GB (!!!!) for the same price 100 dkk.

Travel tip: If you travel to Europe don’t bother with an international phone plan (when we checked into this for past trips, these plans were stupid expensive) just go to a phone store and buy a SIM card.

Also, telecom companies are robbing USA customers blind.

So, one month and 8 days in to our one year sabbatical in Copenhagen, all the Kelleys have:

• Bikes.
• CPR numbers (I’m told this is primarily our health care ID)
• Necessary Medical Appointments (very easy to make)
  • me – an appointment with my assigned GP (General Practitioner)
  • the eldest – appointment with her assigned orthodontist
• NemIDs (actually, just MBH and I. 15 and unders don’t get NemIDs).
• Rejsekorts
  • either in hand or on the way. I just ordered the girls’ cards this morning and expect them to arrive in the mail by Friday at the latest.
• What remains (and that MBH is working diligently on):
  • Denmark bank account
    Denmark Mobile Pay (Denmark version of Pay Pal or Venmo)
    Figuring out how to actually use those Rejsekorts…

Danish Pronunciations

The other aspect to settling in that has made things So.Much.Less Painful than it could have otherwise been – is the prevalence of English here. The vast majority of websites translate to English (many do so automatically), google translate with video camera is pretty amazing, and Every.Single.Danish.Person.In.Copenhagen speaks brilliant English. In fact, they prefer switching to English than listening to me try and speak Danish with French pronunciations. Although that French “r” sound is coming in handy.

Here’s some fun-with-Danish-pronunciations for you:

Disclaimers:

• phonetic spellings below are a mixture of English and French
• I could still be wrong about the pronunciations below. This is my own understanding based on convos with Danes and ex-pats and hours on Duolingo). If you know better, please feel free to correct me.

The Danish “y”

Pronounced like the French “u.”

• Lyngby (a town) —> Loon-g (very very soft) -boo
• Ryparken (a train station and park near us) –> Rue – Parken
• Meny (a grocery store) –>Men-(then “ue” sound as in “rue”

The word “havn”

Pronounced “hound”

• Nordhavn (neighborhood with the girls school) —>Nor_hound

And as unbelievable as this may sound to some, the frustrations and stress have been worth it. The Danish Bureaucracy and systems can feel quite overwhelming, but once you’re through it, and on the other side, and have the numbers and cards and papers and phones and apps and wifi you need, life becomes more of a cinch…